Life Lessons from Once Upon a Time: S1 E1

10 Jul, 2017 | Mimetic Mirror, The Inner Library

What part does belief play in our reality?  Is hope unhealthy, or necessary?  Here are the things I learned from S1E1 of Once Upon a Time.

Belief is necessary for something to become.

I can’t bring up this lesson without also sharing a profound goosebumps-inducing clip from an underwhelming movie based on a brilliant book. What am I talking about? Why, Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather, of course! In the clip, Death – a surprisingly loveable character in the Discworld series – explains what would’ve happened to the world if he and his granddaughter (played by Cousin Mary from Downton Abbey, fun fact!) hadn’t saved the world. He then goes into a beautiful speech about how important belief is for humanity. I would have simply quoted it here, but I’d rather have you watch the video. Keep tissues handy.


I digress.

In the beginning of the episode, Henry says to Emma that all the fairytales in his book are true. She scoffs, obviously, and then he asks her to use her “superpower” – she claims to be able to always know when someone is lying – and she is silenced for a moment.

“Just because you believe something doesn’t make it true,” she says.

To which Henry replies:

“That’s exactly what makes it true.”

I could probably wax on for hours on what truth is, but I’m not here to get philosophical.

I will say this though – the theme of belief being necessary for things to become is both a philosophical and spiritual idea, and I would urge you to chase up after this in your research (if you feel compelled to).

Having said that, this sort of idea always brings up arguments in the form of Rachel Anne Dolezal, which is often used as an argument for people to invalidate claimed identity by marginalised individuals. I’d therefore not like to get into this discussion – not because it shouldn’t be had, but because all truths can be untrue to some – but this doesn’t invalidate its absolute truth for others. We are still navigating the tenets of identity and its subtleties, as a species, and so I’m only stating what I know to be true. That doesn’t mean it has to apply to everyone. 😉

“Giving in to one’s dark side never accomplishes anything.”

Archie Hopper, the real-world equivalent of Jiminy Cricket, tells Henry this lightly when he bumps into him with Emma. Emma seems a bit weirded out after the chat related to fairy tales, but this line plays a large role in the overarching theme in the series – that one always has a choice between the right and wrong thing.

Note: “giving in” is very different from “embracing”, the latter being necessary for integration of seemingly out-of-control parts of the self that one might not like. Complex stuff, but… OUAT covers it in future episodes. Watch this space!

“If you love them and they love you – they will always find you.”

At first glance, this might seem like an unhealthy and cheesy line, but I see it as something simpler – and simultaneously more profound.

We often find ourselves chasing unavailable lovers, people who aren’t ready to love or be loved – for various reasons that can include self-worth issues (that “not enough” syndrome is a beast, huh?).

This line, said often by Snow White in various forms, is a reminder that the right relationships will occur because both parties will make equal effort. And sometimes, when you aren’t able to make that effort on a particular day, you can trust that the other party will meet you halfway.

Clever girl, that Snow White.

Art imitates life which imitates art and… back again?

“How’s a book supposed to help?”

“What do you think stories are for? These stories… the classics? There’s a reason we all know them. They’re a way for us to deal with our world, a world that doesn’t always make sense.”

This particular series (if you’re reading this on my blog) is called Mimetic Mirror – named after the concept of mimesis, whereby it’s claimed that art imitates life. I tend to feel that the relationship between art and life is mutual, hence the word “mirror” – and so this series is all about how we can learn truths about life from art.

I feel like this quote is an apt reminder that art – and story-telling art, specifically – help us make sense of the world. When we look at stories, from fiction with its massive fanbase (and resulting celebrity culture), to religious books, we have a consistent stream of inspiration – if we know where to look.

I strongly believe that we can find the answers we need in ourselves, or in the tools we select in front of us. Whether that’s a cartoon, a series, a novel, or a Bible – there is wisdom to be found, if you keep your eyes and ears open to it.

This series is my ambitious but passionate contribution to the pool of resources you might find. A translation of truth, if you like.

Hope is more important than we realise.

“Look, I gave the book to him because I wanted Henry to have the most important thing anyone can have… Hope. Believing in even the possibility of a happy ending is a very powerful thing.”

It’s so easy to speak of positive thinking, and tell people to simply be positive.

Sometimes that is difficult.

But there is a step between the landing of utter doom and the clouds of sunny optimism – and that is hope. Hope can be a great stopping point while you gather your energy and strength, and in many cases can be lifesaving.

While some realists may disagree with giving people hope in certain situations, I really believe that it ends up being the saving grace in impossible situations at times. There’s such a fine line between hope and belief, I find, and I think a gentle hope in the back of the mind can be nothing but positive in terms of how it influences our behaviour. Just as long as that hope doesn’t take us over – and become the only driving force in our lives.

As Snow White says above, believing in the possibility of a happy ending can be powerful – just as long as we don’t define that happy ending too specifically. The key – as always – is to act without expectation of specifics. Any sort of happy ending will do (er).

Sometimes people leave for our own good.

”You dont have to be hostile. I know you like me. I can tell. You’re just pushing me away because I make you feel guilty. It’s ok. I know why you gave me away. You wanted to give me my best chance.”

Have you ever looked at someone you had once cried over, and realised that their departure was a gift in some way? It could be for the simple reason that it made you grow – or it could be because they turned out to be an awful fit.

I bumped into an awful ex of mine two days ago. One of those small men who gets a kick out of jokes at other people’s expense, a boy who lets his lack of self-awareness affect those who he can’t touch. A fellow who invests so much importance in his style because he needs to cover up the lack of character that lives inside. You know the kind (well, I hope you don’t).

He made a mumbled comment, we hugged amicably with a meaningless “how are you” as I was a bit distracted by the fact that I was on Voxer. As he walked away, hurrying to catch up with the two ladies he was with, he turned around and pointed at his face, saying (with a smile), “Wow! You’re a bit red in the face!” (I have a skin condition called rosacea). It reminded me of the “joking” comments he had made about my music career, body, and clothing in an equally juvenile way.

As I looked at him with my face scrunched up in the face-scrunchy version of an eye-roll, he laughed to himself and walked off. And I realised at that moment that I was so grateful he had ended things, and that his toxic behaviour was as far away from me as possible. He clearly hadn’t grown in the 2 years since we had connected – and I was grateful for the gift of his absence.

So while Emma left with a conscious awareness that her departure would be better for Henry, sometimes people’s absence is a gift that you only truly understand much later.

I hope you enjoyed this breakdown of the lessons learned from the characters in Once Upon a Time – let me know if you watch the show too, and whether this was helpful! 🙂

I’m Melissa de Blok, and I'm here to foster self-love.

On this blog, I strive to help my readers (as well as my clients) get out of their own way, face the darker and scarier parts of their thoughts and feelings, and go inward so that they can move upward in their careers and personal lives.

I believe with all my heart that (personal) truth is the most important thing in this world, and that vulnerability is a super-power.  I strive to encourage both qualities in my photographs of clients, while prioritising their comfort and joy over anything else. Whether you need portraits to boost your confidence, showcase the real you, or just want me to capture the love and bonds within your life - I have you covered.

I work with clients who care about the impression their images are giving of them, and want to make sure that the first impression they give is the best - and most authentic - one.  My work tends to appeal to introverted people in the public eye, or anyone who is thoughtful, introspective, sensitive, and creative.  I combine my knowledge and skill in life coaching, branding and performance art (I'm also a musician) with my 8-year international photography career, in order to provide a unique experience for my clients and readers.




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